Dear Sarah

Instructing someone you are related to can be difficult. We hear all the time that we shouldn’t teach our own children, usually because of the communication barriers that are automatically in place in certain types of relationships. But the other half of that is that when you teach your own, you feel the impact of fears, disappointments, even falls etc in a different way than you do with riders that are not related to you. When it’s your family member – we try to absorb the disappointments, scary things and tough things for them, and often become over protective. Our goal in wanting them to be successful and safe can become the hindrance. I know this because I’ve been the instructor for both of my daughters who are grown now and periodically work with my granddaughter, who is also 9 and not the most bold child. I have the advantage of teaching Emma on a size appropriate pony who is solid. I like that the pony is a size that she does not feel intimidated but even so, she was not ready to move forward much until this year at 9.

It sounds like you are on the right path working on balance and independent parts. I would add exercises that would strengthen her legs- standing in the stirrups to stretch down, even holding a paper under her leg, lifting herself up a little off the saddle with out stirrups at a halt and walk. I would also do a lot of work on controlling the horse’s direction- on a lead line at a walk. Set up cones to weave or a clover leaf pattern or a poles pattern. Hang pool toys around the arena and have her ride to them and maneuver the horse to pick them up. Lay out a fun obstacle course with turns and stops, circles to stand in, things to step over. Do it all at a walk relinquishing a longer lead line as you progress so that she is actually doing the steering and Country is not just following you. Giving a rider strength and control – even if it’s just at a walk- will help their confidence.

Also you might be surprised at how bold your step daughter will become if you can find a riding friend for her, another child her age that she can become barn buddies with. I love the Saddle Club series for kids but two 9 year old girls who love horses and animals will do a lot more to inspire each other than a movie will. Plus then you can let them have a movie/pop-corn time and get a lot more mileage from the video.

Keep up the good work! Can anyone add a few more ideas for Sarah?

Does anyone have anything they use that may help a 9 year old rider? I want her to have fun and to be safe. I’m glad she is showing an interest in my passion but it scares the s*** out of me because she is so small.